the biggest dilemma with the world today is the idea of people and how they live. we judge by conditions and not what is really in front of us. we struggle with trying to make a difference in the world and find our purpose but when the hole has gone deep, there is no way back up.
since being on stress leave i have tried to find ways to be more positive and struggle with that idea. i am always waiting for another bomb to drop, which i must admit usually does, so why be positive? there are always things shitting on your life or way of thinking and feeling and i believe we will constantly be fighting this fight.
so how then does one get out of this?
any text book would say: “try, try again” but when the moment you realize trying has failed and all avenues are pointless, it is very annoying to even think about positivity. the struggle is definitely within, external people have brought me to the conclusion that i am worthless, unappreciated and serve no purpose, therefore stepping away was the only way. now that this has happened, finding something new is hard. and so the circle of life continues.
