People are demanding. Most of them do not understand the word “no” and continue to persist with banter. I never have believed much in family; that word is evil to me because, by definition, family is supposed to love you unconditionally. My parents did not understand that, and even though their road map to raising a child did not lead them in the direction they wanted, their efforts were pointless.
We can only guide the people we love to understand the concept of unconditional but there comes a point when distance might be a better solution. What the hell am I talking about? When I lost my son and my father all in the same year, my supposed to be blood family, I didn’t blink an eye to reach out to me. Their excuse was they were busy with their own grief, understandable but let’s be honest, if you preach the line of “family” we are all you got, then at least make the effort.
Yesterday, pissed me off. My so-called family from the East Coast were here to enjoy a nice day to celebrate my stepmother’s birthday party, which I was not attending. Let me explain why. My dad’s wife has 3 children, who are all well off in many ways. Even their children, raised to believe they are better than the rest of the world, make you feel so small it has to be shouted out loud. I have never admitted that before but with my recent depression, I realized some of my triggers and that is certainly one of them.
Back to my aunt and uncle who believe that showing up with like a big entrance to a parade. It is all a big show and always has been. When she reached out, I finally gave her a piece of mind. It is sad to say that they only reach out when something is going on like a celebration and I won’t put up with it any longer. My stepmother has been very kind and understanding in my recent illness and understands me. I don’t have to explain to her why I would not attend her party.
At the end of the day, I was so wound up by these people, my words needed to be shared. I told my son the same thing, which by the way he agrees with me. My family consists of my son, his girlfriend, my spouse and of course kitty.
The word “family” doesn’t always mean blood, but it does mean unconditional, and if you can’t be, then a second look at your meaning.
