this summer has proven to be a valueable lesson for me and i am sure most of you are feeling the pressures of life in general. with the rise and cost of everything, we are bound to crack at any moment. that is why it is so important to have an outlet to fulfill those feelings and emotions less desireable.
i have been trying to create mine in order to accomplish the overwhelming task of having a purpose. my trials and failures have taught me this:
never be satisfied with compromise or what others expect of you.
i seen some old friends yesterday that triggered a part of my life i have been avoiding for that simple reason. the trigger is a past experience full of regret and hurt. it makes me feel as though i have failed at my career in all possible ways and let down a whole bunch of people i used to hold dear to my heart. there is no taking back all that hurt and pain and regret but i can say for certain it was great to know some of them still hold me in their thoughts. that experience always felt like home to me and i threw it all away because i was irrational in my thinking and acting. alas, we can’t undo the past therefore moving forward, i can’t help but empty.
those parts of me that were buried, resurfaced and for a half hour or so, i was reminded of how important my job was at one time. it was something that friend said: “i loved how we use to work as a team” now everything is shit!
isn’t that the truth.
i would like to think that my time there wasn’t a total waste but the regret was leaving and not having that chance to fix what is broken. i guess there are things in life you can’t fix but i am one of those people who does not give up on making amends. there should be more of that to make us feel important.
getting back to creating and writing. i realized that my efforts in keeping my mental health in check has brought me here today. enough with the creating and i need to start expressing. i have a few more things to tweak in order to satisfy my ability to make this work and in the next few weeks, i am hoping to have it settled.
have a great day and thank you for being here.
