Part of my process of healing is taking this course on Mental Health, and in our last class, we were given a task to do. Take a walk or bike ride, in my case, and “take the time to notice the connections with the earth”: as such, I realized it was really about being in the moment, or maybe noticing things we haven’t seen before. What we see is either our negative or positive, and it goes deeper than that.
My biggest challenge in understanding and accepting this moment is that I’ve noticed all the cracks in the sidewalks and roads. Then I came home and thought about that ever since. Most of us want to be perfect; most of us want that happiness to last, and most of all, most of us want greatness. I know I have been searching for it all my life, the willingness was always there, but I could never hold on to those feelings long enough. As I get older, with all the tragic events, I find myself sinking into an abyss of destructive thoughts. My confidence is gone, my ability to see good, only because I know when I have tried to be happy, something bad always follows. Therefore, now I take my life day by day and just be present.
Coming back to those cracks …
It is true we are all filled with cracks. The world is filled with them, and if we could only accept that, what a better place it would be. But what is the purpose of the cracks? Is it to remind us we need space to breath? Possibly. That is how I feel about cracks; it is to make us realize we need to take time to consider one thing: we are human. We aren’t artificial, we can’t be rebuilt by parts of metal or fake plastic but flesh and blood.
The issue I have is the rebuilding. Most of you would say we can rebuild ourselves, but how much of that will be real? That is the kind of expression I have been talking about for years. Realism, unconditional, being who you are and accepting that others will follow.
Sadly, I still see others who do not understand this concept and judge us for being authentic.
