People are interesting. You never know what they are thinking and I can assure you they don’t know either. We are conditioned to follow the “norm” and never quite understand why things happen the way they do.
What people don’t realize is that the bigger plan is laid out and we do not have a choice in all life’s journey. If you take one road, something else happens. If you decide to be happy, shit will follow. Some people weren’t meant to have the best of the best and I can tell you from experience, this is fact.
I have also noticed that people don’t use the word “self pity” any longer because it is unacceptable. We do not feel sorry for ourselves but for the life that is been handed to us. Even though we try to make the most out of it, we struggle to find that middle ground where we can actually say:
“Hey, it was a good day”
I don’t have many of those I can tell you. A part of me wants the happiness but as I have said many times before, why bother when I know bad luck is around the corner to throw me back into the dark hole. If i believed in curses, this would be the time. I am frustrated beyond repair all of the time and wake up only to make the normal routine for all those live around me.
No purpose, no personality, only existence. That is how I live now.
In reality, I guess it is all that is needed.