Building roads i can believe in

Can you imagine it is almost 2026 and here we are looking back at what was accomplished in 2025. my personal experience with this year is big depression and realizing that my worth was nothing worth discussing. this is what happens when all shit breaks loose and you feel as though, living is a struggle more than a blessing. obviously the struggle comes from not having a good job, looking for answers to my suffering, why i feel unworthy but most the life i wanted for myself.

success in anything is really difficult to achieve. i don’t care who you are or how rich you are, the truth is we all have that inner person not quite in that moment. if a person tells you they are happy, they are lying. no one is every really happy, they say that to make themselves look better or fear of being judged. i try to be as honest as i can even though there are times when i just want to slap the shit out of someone in front of me and tell them to wake the fuck up.

liking people unconditionally is one of the hardest things to do and if you can achieve that, you are a mile ahead of the game of life.

last week i spent time with people i don’t really care about, reaching out to people who don’t give me the time of day but in the end, i did it for myself. i needed those people to know, i am not a fraud or a loser and for some reason, time has not changed them. someone said to me: “i just have to learn to live with my regrets and move on”

what does she know, right?

the problem with that is the regret is greater than life itself and unless you can forgive yourself for all that you think you have done wrong, then you are shit out of luck for happiness and contentment. however, i still did what i did because i needed too and that is a good journey to take.

i am still unsure what 2026 will bring this chaotic world or who will die this year but i know that if i don’t try to accept my own self, i will continue to fail. the key is to build my confidence back up.