Why do some of us when living in a tragic situation, live in the past? Are we so consumed with the familiar that it scares us to go into the unknown?
I have been asked that question many times but for me, going into the unknown has always been a big part of my life. I am not afraid to take on new challenges or make alterations to my life. I have always been adventurous and different than most people I know. I was never scared to start something new, or move on to a new life; I have done it many times.
I believe this is one of my biggest flaws, truth be told, when I was faced with something tragic and fearful, instead of facing the issues and dealing with them, I would run away, start fresh and because of that leaving it in the past, I never faced the reality of the situation. This is the first time in my life, where I have not been able to move on and I am facing the unknown for the first time. I keep asking myself why is this path of mine so tragic. Why does it feel like I am going backwards instead of forward. I am so consumed with negative thoughts and have given up trying to be better because it is a waste of time.
Although these moments of grief are, hurt, pain, and sorrow are very difficult, the reality is I have responsibilities and must continue.
The trigger is not being able to see better. I am consumed with the blacken parts of my mind and can’t see light. I am suffering in all ways you can possibly imagine and no one is the wiser. Here I can at least write about it, whether or not it reaches the end of the world wide web is another story.
